We’ve all seen that fat girl with barely anything on, drying humping every guy that walks past. Well I got a close up that I’ll never forget. My choice of poison was water so I have no excuse. The thing about all your friends being drunk and you sober, is that they seem to be having so much more fun than you. So I decided to give the dance floor a break and get a refill instead.
Random hot guy: What you drinking?
Me: *looks at the bottle of water in my hand* Guess…
Random hot guy: Would you like something harder
At that exact moment the fat girl with barely anything on, decide to demonstrate something out of a thriller music video exposing any covered bit she might have had.
Me: Check out the whale
Random hot guy: Ummmmm
Me: *laughing uncontrollably*
Random hot guy: That’s my sister
Me: Ohhh FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Random guy: Hang on I’ll introduce you
At that point I was wishing for the ground to open up and swallow me! I had now turned so red I looked like a stop sign. After being introduced to fat girl I felt obliged to give her a ridiculous amount of compliments, at which she must of thought I was hitting on her. The next 10 minutes involved us standing there in silence, I felt as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.
Random guy: So you like my sister?
Me: Umm she’s great!
Random guy: So how about that drink?
After I called his sister a whale he still proceeded to hit on me for the rest of the night and all I wanted to do was get the hell outta there and crawl into a hole.
In other odd events:
I keep getting pictures of farm animals from some guy I met recently.
I’m beginning to develop zoophobia. You know who you are. Please stop!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
I’m not demented just dehydrated
That ever so wonderful feeling when you wake up and your tongue is stuck to your palate. Your vision is blurred and you taste feet. You fall outta bed and crawl to the bathroom and literally eat half the toothpaste. While barely balancing, you realize not only are you a danger to yourself right now, but you are also a danger to society and should get back it to bed before you hurt yourself. Even your dog looks at you with disgust. You then realize that today is in fact a work day.
Panicked I dressed in record time and in my car on my way to work. With every possible a$shole testing my breaking reflex, after the tenth time of slamming breaks, I was finally fully awake, and the very little blood I had left in my alcohol system was starting to boil. By the time I got to work I was as dehydrated as a prune. Rushing to my parking and avoiding the obstacle course of cars, I managed to introduce the side of my car to the lovely wall… which left a unpleasant scratch on the side of my car. Yip shoulda stayed in bed.
Like I said people I’m a danger to society
Panicked I dressed in record time and in my car on my way to work. With every possible a$shole testing my breaking reflex, after the tenth time of slamming breaks, I was finally fully awake, and the very little blood I had left in my alcohol system was starting to boil. By the time I got to work I was as dehydrated as a prune. Rushing to my parking and avoiding the obstacle course of cars, I managed to introduce the side of my car to the lovely wall… which left a unpleasant scratch on the side of my car. Yip shoulda stayed in bed.
Like I said people I’m a danger to society
Oh the fun
Signs which indicate that you are at a Russian wedding:
The wedding starts an hour late (If you lucky)
The presence of vodka on every table
The village music people are actually dancing to on the dance floor
The singing DJ
The 3 photographers and 2 videographers
The shirtless guest
The inappropriate asshole
The married flirt
The fight
And me in the middle of the craziness sober
The wedding starts an hour late (If you lucky)
The presence of vodka on every table
The village music people are actually dancing to on the dance floor
The singing DJ
The 3 photographers and 2 videographers
The shirtless guest
The inappropriate asshole
The married flirt
The fight
And me in the middle of the craziness sober
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Casual i think not
Ever wonder what people actually mean when they say “let’s keep it casual.”
I personally have my own interpretation but here’s the Wikipedia version.
“”A casual relationship, colloquially known as a fling, is a physical and emotional relationship between two people who may have a sexual relationship (a situation colloquially called Friends with benefits) or a near-sexual relationship without necessarily demanding or expecting the extra commitments of a more formal romantic relationship. Motives for casual relationships vary. There are significant gender and cultural differences in acceptance of and breadth of casual relationships, as well as in regrets about action/inaction in those relationships.
A casual relationship may be part time, or for a limited time, and may or may not be monogamous. The term encompasses friendships between people who enjoy each other's physical intimacy but do not aspire to be long-term, and may or may not involve parties who desire temporary relationships purely for hedonistic purposes. In each case, the relationship's dominance in the lives of those involved is being voluntarily limited, and there is usually a sense that the relationship is intended to endure only so long as both parties wish it to.
A casual relationship differs from casual sex, which has little or no emotional element, and from a one-night stand, as the relationship extends beyond a single sexual encounter. To the extent such relationships include casual sexual contact, the relationship is generally focused on fulfilling sexual desires rather than romantic or emotional needs.””
#Just putting it out there.
I personally have my own interpretation but here’s the Wikipedia version.
“”A casual relationship, colloquially known as a fling, is a physical and emotional relationship between two people who may have a sexual relationship (a situation colloquially called Friends with benefits) or a near-sexual relationship without necessarily demanding or expecting the extra commitments of a more formal romantic relationship. Motives for casual relationships vary. There are significant gender and cultural differences in acceptance of and breadth of casual relationships, as well as in regrets about action/inaction in those relationships.
A casual relationship may be part time, or for a limited time, and may or may not be monogamous. The term encompasses friendships between people who enjoy each other's physical intimacy but do not aspire to be long-term, and may or may not involve parties who desire temporary relationships purely for hedonistic purposes. In each case, the relationship's dominance in the lives of those involved is being voluntarily limited, and there is usually a sense that the relationship is intended to endure only so long as both parties wish it to.
A casual relationship differs from casual sex, which has little or no emotional element, and from a one-night stand, as the relationship extends beyond a single sexual encounter. To the extent such relationships include casual sexual contact, the relationship is generally focused on fulfilling sexual desires rather than romantic or emotional needs.””
#Just putting it out there.
Hopeless, yes i am
After much hesitation I finally decided to go out with “so what” guy. We decided to meet up in Sandton for dinner. We arrived at the same time and he was lucky enough to witness me lose my balance and nearly fall over my own feet. Damn high heels and crappy pavements! With a brilliant start like that, the evening could only get better, right? Wrong!
We got to the sushi restaurant and “so what” guy chose to sit by the conveyor belt, which is fantastic if you have good reflexes. Which in my case I don’t, so catching your food while it passes by you is my idea of torture. I managed to break some plastic feature thingy and drown the table in soya sauce. Had to apologize like crazy to the poor waiter who could barely keep up with my mess. Dinner conversation involved: “Here’s another napkin” and “that’s not going to fit in your mouth.” I also seemed to lose all ability to use chops sticks and looked like a 2 year old, who was learning how to use a fork.
Saying bye and walking off to my car involved me tripping and nearly slapping myself and him. To my surprise he called and asked me out again. He’s either very desperate or my eating habits are the most entertainment he’s had in a very long time.
Second date - it was his turn to act like a complete idiot. He kept trying to throw small pieces of paper down my top, kept score and tried to name my boobs. Oh, and according to his fashion expertise my shoes did not match my outfit. I still have no idea what that poor cardboard cut-out of Rango did to him that he felt the need to abuse it.
There will be no more dating, I’m going to stick to what I know… Drinking!
That awkward moment when…
You are the only one laughing and everyone is staring at you. I seem to be getting a lot of that this week.
We got to the sushi restaurant and “so what” guy chose to sit by the conveyor belt, which is fantastic if you have good reflexes. Which in my case I don’t, so catching your food while it passes by you is my idea of torture. I managed to break some plastic feature thingy and drown the table in soya sauce. Had to apologize like crazy to the poor waiter who could barely keep up with my mess. Dinner conversation involved: “Here’s another napkin” and “that’s not going to fit in your mouth.” I also seemed to lose all ability to use chops sticks and looked like a 2 year old, who was learning how to use a fork.
Saying bye and walking off to my car involved me tripping and nearly slapping myself and him. To my surprise he called and asked me out again. He’s either very desperate or my eating habits are the most entertainment he’s had in a very long time.
Second date - it was his turn to act like a complete idiot. He kept trying to throw small pieces of paper down my top, kept score and tried to name my boobs. Oh, and according to his fashion expertise my shoes did not match my outfit. I still have no idea what that poor cardboard cut-out of Rango did to him that he felt the need to abuse it.
There will be no more dating, I’m going to stick to what I know… Drinking!
That awkward moment when…
You are the only one laughing and everyone is staring at you. I seem to be getting a lot of that this week.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Getting too old for this
(Due to fighting my way out of a pile of work, that has been covering me for the past few weeks, this is a bit of a delayed post! Better late than never - an excuse that I use for everything)
The craziest weekend yet! I managed to party nonstop for 12 hours (Record)! Thanks to H2O and a very Awesome birthday party! Unforgettable.
I forgot how much fun you can get up to at h2o, especially when there’s a car bar filled with champagne and Vodka… Swedish vodka that makes your tongue turn blue and tastes a little too good. Other side effects include: swaying, mumbling, dance moves I have yet to explain and attacking the chip stand.
When I arrived at the Birthday, I was 2 hours late… Surprise surprise! Punishment for arriving late was downing a triple whiskey, they were nice enough to add a drop of water.. Ahh bless.
After that it all went downhill… Birthday girl decided we were not drunk enough and brought out the hard stuff.. Memory is a bit of a blur from there but here’s the parts I do remember:
Dancing like an animal in distress
Shouting pour me a quadruple
Diving into a Jacuzzi
Falling out of a Jacuzzi
Drunk tweeting
Speaking a language unknown to man
And Heinz Winckler (Aka Winky) knocking on the door, asking for the party to turn down the music, which of course we didn’t! Instead we quickly downloaded as many Winky songs we could find and blasted them for the next hour. Singing ‘Cant loose with you’ for the hundredth time and I still couldn’t get the lyrics right.. There goes my dream of being a singer.
Its moments like these that make it all alright again. Thanks to an amazing bunch of friends for a memorable weekend. The two day hangover was soooooo worth it.
The craziest weekend yet! I managed to party nonstop for 12 hours (Record)! Thanks to H2O and a very Awesome birthday party! Unforgettable.
I forgot how much fun you can get up to at h2o, especially when there’s a car bar filled with champagne and Vodka… Swedish vodka that makes your tongue turn blue and tastes a little too good. Other side effects include: swaying, mumbling, dance moves I have yet to explain and attacking the chip stand.
When I arrived at the Birthday, I was 2 hours late… Surprise surprise! Punishment for arriving late was downing a triple whiskey, they were nice enough to add a drop of water.. Ahh bless.
After that it all went downhill… Birthday girl decided we were not drunk enough and brought out the hard stuff.. Memory is a bit of a blur from there but here’s the parts I do remember:
Dancing like an animal in distress
Shouting pour me a quadruple
Diving into a Jacuzzi
Falling out of a Jacuzzi
Drunk tweeting
Speaking a language unknown to man
And Heinz Winckler (Aka Winky) knocking on the door, asking for the party to turn down the music, which of course we didn’t! Instead we quickly downloaded as many Winky songs we could find and blasted them for the next hour. Singing ‘Cant loose with you’ for the hundredth time and I still couldn’t get the lyrics right.. There goes my dream of being a singer.
Its moments like these that make it all alright again. Thanks to an amazing bunch of friends for a memorable weekend. The two day hangover was soooooo worth it.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Stupidity at its best
Girl meets boy… Boy maturity level is at a 3.
Drinks:
Me: Hi! Sorry, I’m late. (As usual)
Boy: Ohhh look what I can do with a straw!
Me: Err I don’t think that’s meant to go in there.
What can I say, was an entertaining evening, which only made me realize I want to be at least 600km away from him at all times and screaming: “Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!”
Boy thinks he’s smart and will make girl jealous.
After avoiding / ignoring boy, he decides to make himself irresistible and sends girl a message not meant for her. “Hey Babe, I have to go now as I’m have to get up for gym early to get rid of that tyre, we were talking about Last night! Thanks for the chat.” Logic? He has none.
Girl thinks boy is a tool.
Found this very appropriate picture to describe you.
Ps: Stayed sober all of last weekend seem to be loosing my touch?! Err no definitely made up for it this weekend.
Drinks:
Me: Hi! Sorry, I’m late. (As usual)
Boy: Ohhh look what I can do with a straw!
Me: Err I don’t think that’s meant to go in there.
What can I say, was an entertaining evening, which only made me realize I want to be at least 600km away from him at all times and screaming: “Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!”
Boy thinks he’s smart and will make girl jealous.
After avoiding / ignoring boy, he decides to make himself irresistible and sends girl a message not meant for her. “Hey Babe, I have to go now as I’m have to get up for gym early to get rid of that tyre, we were talking about Last night! Thanks for the chat.” Logic? He has none.
Girl thinks boy is a tool.
Found this very appropriate picture to describe you.
Ps: Stayed sober all of last weekend seem to be loosing my touch?! Err no definitely made up for it this weekend.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Kissing techniques... and not the good kind
I've always loved a good kiss, nothing says hot hot hot quite like a guy knowing how to kiss. But unfortunately not all guys poses this skill and you only find out when it’s too late to make a run for it. So I have decided to do some research on the worst kissing techniques and here's what i got.
The Katrina Kiss.
It is a kiss with entirely too much water. Remember Hurricane Katrina? Yes, just like that. You are drooled on, slobbered on and when the kiss is over, you feel the need for a towel and maybe a shower. Too much saliva everywhere! Hm! Tip: If you have a salivary gland problem, or your partner just makes you drool with lust, try swallowing before you kiss!
The Iguana Kiss.
This is a true case of lizard lips! Crusty, crunchy and dry. If you run your lips gently across your lovers neck, cheek and lips, they shouldn’t be left with what looks like paper cuts.
The Prozac Kiss or Fast and Furious
Fast, furious, darting or high-speed swirling motions of the tongue reminiscent of a washing machine on the rinse cycle. Hm! Is it too much lust?
The Cave or Black Hole
In this instance your partner’s mouth is open so wide that your tongue meets nothing but air on all sides! There is no exchange of sensation. It’s like you’re kissing in a wide whole!
The Dirty Tom
Shave or grow the beard. You don’t know what it feels like to have sand papery stubble pierce the skin around your eyes or cheeks! With half her face scraped off, a woman feels less than romantic and is more inclined to get up to seek medical treatment than she is to get busy.
Trolling for Tonsils.
A little restraint on the depth of the kiss might be in order. If you have a tendency to extend your tongue to its full length in your partners mouth, how do you expect him/her to breathe.
The Kiss of Death.
Ever kissed someone to be met by a smell of decomposition? How awful! Brush your teeth! Use one of the vast selections of mouthwashes on the market. Get a new toothbrush every 3 months! Visit your dentist and check for gum disease and cavities, both of which contribute to bad breath.
The Anteater
Something to avoid! This is where the tongue goes in and out of your partners mouth in a pokey, speedy, anteater motion! Vomit in my Mouth! If you are using the tounge keep it in longer then point two seconds!
The Alienator
This is a rather odd one, this is when the neck bobbles up and down, i have no recommendation on how to stop this as i still can't understand how this is physically possible.
Which one are you?
Happy weekend all.
The Katrina Kiss.
It is a kiss with entirely too much water. Remember Hurricane Katrina? Yes, just like that. You are drooled on, slobbered on and when the kiss is over, you feel the need for a towel and maybe a shower. Too much saliva everywhere! Hm! Tip: If you have a salivary gland problem, or your partner just makes you drool with lust, try swallowing before you kiss!
The Iguana Kiss.
This is a true case of lizard lips! Crusty, crunchy and dry. If you run your lips gently across your lovers neck, cheek and lips, they shouldn’t be left with what looks like paper cuts.
The Prozac Kiss or Fast and Furious
Fast, furious, darting or high-speed swirling motions of the tongue reminiscent of a washing machine on the rinse cycle. Hm! Is it too much lust?
The Cave or Black Hole
In this instance your partner’s mouth is open so wide that your tongue meets nothing but air on all sides! There is no exchange of sensation. It’s like you’re kissing in a wide whole!
The Dirty Tom
Shave or grow the beard. You don’t know what it feels like to have sand papery stubble pierce the skin around your eyes or cheeks! With half her face scraped off, a woman feels less than romantic and is more inclined to get up to seek medical treatment than she is to get busy.
Trolling for Tonsils.
A little restraint on the depth of the kiss might be in order. If you have a tendency to extend your tongue to its full length in your partners mouth, how do you expect him/her to breathe.
The Kiss of Death.
Ever kissed someone to be met by a smell of decomposition? How awful! Brush your teeth! Use one of the vast selections of mouthwashes on the market. Get a new toothbrush every 3 months! Visit your dentist and check for gum disease and cavities, both of which contribute to bad breath.
The Anteater
Something to avoid! This is where the tongue goes in and out of your partners mouth in a pokey, speedy, anteater motion! Vomit in my Mouth! If you are using the tounge keep it in longer then point two seconds!
The Alienator
This is a rather odd one, this is when the neck bobbles up and down, i have no recommendation on how to stop this as i still can't understand how this is physically possible.
Which one are you?
Happy weekend all.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I am my parents' daughter
Ballito is amazing this time of the year and my absolute favourite place to be (When you eventually get there.) The 6 hour drive was freaking torture. While I was playing “dodge the truck” and trying to think of ways to de-numb my butt, everyone had a nice nap. (Typical!) We arrived just in time as both my arms were about to fall off.
My Cousin and I got stuck taking her parents to visit my parents, which wouldn’t be so bad,, if we didn’t come from a family of nut jobs… Picture this! A bunch of Russians who haven’t seen each other in years. Hugging, kissing, screaming and of course pulling out the Vodka.
Special moments I will never forget > > >
Our parents decided to go for an evening swim and all I heard, while they were running out the door, was: “Let’s swim naked!!!” Now that’s disturbing all on its own level! I’d rather lick a camel’s butt, than witness that!
Swimming in the ocean was impossible, when my aunt kept praying to God and screaming loudly for the whole beach to hear: “Please don’t go!!!”, then running and pulling you out the water. Especially embarrassing, when you aren’t even a knee deep. The 2 year old next to me was even laughing!
Trying to tan wasn’t an easy task either, as I kept getting calls from the other side of the beach from my Mother, begging me to come out of the sun.
Every conversation was a screaming competition of who can shatter glass first.
The craziness continued till I got home. I’m happy to say I’ve survived a family holiday and won’t have to do this again for at least 2 years. I also discovered my mother managed to slip a whole bunch of rubbish into our bags, ranging from green tights to pieces of string and material. How we related is beyond me!
PS: Birthday drinks tonight. Not mine but I’m planning to out drink the Birthday boy.. Why? Cause I’m Celebrating.
My Cousin and I got stuck taking her parents to visit my parents, which wouldn’t be so bad,, if we didn’t come from a family of nut jobs… Picture this! A bunch of Russians who haven’t seen each other in years. Hugging, kissing, screaming and of course pulling out the Vodka.
Special moments I will never forget > > >
Our parents decided to go for an evening swim and all I heard, while they were running out the door, was: “Let’s swim naked!!!” Now that’s disturbing all on its own level! I’d rather lick a camel’s butt, than witness that!
Swimming in the ocean was impossible, when my aunt kept praying to God and screaming loudly for the whole beach to hear: “Please don’t go!!!”, then running and pulling you out the water. Especially embarrassing, when you aren’t even a knee deep. The 2 year old next to me was even laughing!
Trying to tan wasn’t an easy task either, as I kept getting calls from the other side of the beach from my Mother, begging me to come out of the sun.
Every conversation was a screaming competition of who can shatter glass first.
The craziness continued till I got home. I’m happy to say I’ve survived a family holiday and won’t have to do this again for at least 2 years. I also discovered my mother managed to slip a whole bunch of rubbish into our bags, ranging from green tights to pieces of string and material. How we related is beyond me!
PS: Birthday drinks tonight. Not mine but I’m planning to out drink the Birthday boy.. Why? Cause I’m Celebrating.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Yes doctor
So this has definitely not been one of my best weeks, so far i have i managed to catch the flu with a side order of pet allergies and was forced to buy two new tyres. Naughty naughty potholes.
...Doctors office 7am
Is as quiet as a library since the internet was invented. Im sure i heard a pin drop.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: Are you joking? My eyes are bleeding, i have tissue suck up my nose and am breathing like i just ran a marathon! And all this was not due to alcohol consumption for once!
After a lengthy poke examination it was established that i have flu and allergies, and after all i would survive. i was sent off with a prescription that resembled a short story, which i was unable to read as it was encrypted in that special doctors writing, for all i know he prescribed me vitamins and charged double.
...Jerry the tyre guy: Eish mam what you do?
Why does he automatically assume it was something i did?
Besides putting make up on and talking on my cell phone, filing my nails, scratching my foot and reading emails, i am a very observant driver!
Ps: A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.
...Doctors office 7am
Is as quiet as a library since the internet was invented. Im sure i heard a pin drop.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: Are you joking? My eyes are bleeding, i have tissue suck up my nose and am breathing like i just ran a marathon! And all this was not due to alcohol consumption for once!
After a lengthy poke examination it was established that i have flu and allergies, and after all i would survive. i was sent off with a prescription that resembled a short story, which i was unable to read as it was encrypted in that special doctors writing, for all i know he prescribed me vitamins and charged double.
...Jerry the tyre guy: Eish mam what you do?
Why does he automatically assume it was something i did?
Besides putting make up on and talking on my cell phone, filing my nails, scratching my foot and reading emails, i am a very observant driver!
Ps: A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Pass with flying colours
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once, hence the MIA.
My attempt at an unforgettable weekend was more successful than a gold medal at the Olympics. And how I know this is, because every single brain cell in my head was screaming “Help me!”. Recoveries are starting to take longer, which is a clear indication that my body is getting older and my 12 year old mind is only starting to develop.
What I’ve learnt is, whatever you do – don’t mix your drinks! Wine and whiskey together are not your friends!
In other fun events:
Date with the new man went so well that I ended up seeing him again. Sushi and dvds were involved and me slapping his hand away every 5 seconds. Aggg men these days have no self restraint!
My attempt at an unforgettable weekend was more successful than a gold medal at the Olympics. And how I know this is, because every single brain cell in my head was screaming “Help me!”. Recoveries are starting to take longer, which is a clear indication that my body is getting older and my 12 year old mind is only starting to develop.
What I’ve learnt is, whatever you do – don’t mix your drinks! Wine and whiskey together are not your friends!
In other fun events:
Date with the new man went so well that I ended up seeing him again. Sushi and dvds were involved and me slapping his hand away every 5 seconds. Aggg men these days have no self restraint!
Friday, January 21, 2011
It is here!!
The long awaited weekend and I couldn't be happier, after a killer week of nonstop work, prison seems more pleasant! The only energy i have left is hand to mouth movements of something that contains 24% alcohol, no less! Gona get me some false courage, behave badly and struggle to remember what i did.
Great news: My Liver and I have come to an agreement. I drink, I suffer! We both seem to be ok with it.
Weird news: Man eats underwear to beat breathalyzer. *Thankfully I have no imagination when drunk and could never come up with such a well thought out plan*
Ps: Valentine's day is around the corner, this year i will be accepting applications. Please no porn addicts.
Great news: My Liver and I have come to an agreement. I drink, I suffer! We both seem to be ok with it.
Weird news: Man eats underwear to beat breathalyzer. *Thankfully I have no imagination when drunk and could never come up with such a well thought out plan*
Ps: Valentine's day is around the corner, this year i will be accepting applications. Please no porn addicts.
Monday, January 10, 2011
I may or may not be back
My body is here but my mind is elsewhere.. as usual I’m suffering from post-holiday depression. Nothing worse than having to go back to work after an amazing holiday of boozing it up in Cape Town and then boozing it up in Joburg. Detoxing is for the weak! No resolutions, why bother - I don’t stick to them anyway.
Cape Town.
Insane winds, bad hair, an alcohol habit and photos that should be deleted - is a good summery of my holiday.
Weird guy who I’d rather not remember…
Pick up line: Are you halal?
Me: No
*guy walks away*
Is this what guys have resorted to? Why waste time!
Photos I’d rather not remember…
Trying to take a snap shot while jumping on the beach, is next to impossible I know this because I’ve tried dozens of times and I now have dozens of photos where I look like I just had shock therapy on my face and a pretzel shaped body. Uh hmm.
Joburg.
Quick drink turned into what I call an unforgettable all-night drinking session with 2 new found friends. 2 really hot new found friends. The night involved drinks, cops and strippers. I’d rather not try explain myself. If there was any sun the next day id have seen it except all I got was funny looks during the drive of shame home.
Ps: Call me!!
Cape Town.
Insane winds, bad hair, an alcohol habit and photos that should be deleted - is a good summery of my holiday.
Weird guy who I’d rather not remember…
Pick up line: Are you halal?
Me: No
*guy walks away*
Is this what guys have resorted to? Why waste time!
Photos I’d rather not remember…
Trying to take a snap shot while jumping on the beach, is next to impossible I know this because I’ve tried dozens of times and I now have dozens of photos where I look like I just had shock therapy on my face and a pretzel shaped body. Uh hmm.
Joburg.
Quick drink turned into what I call an unforgettable all-night drinking session with 2 new found friends. 2 really hot new found friends. The night involved drinks, cops and strippers. I’d rather not try explain myself. If there was any sun the next day id have seen it except all I got was funny looks during the drive of shame home.
Ps: Call me!!
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