We’ve all seen that fat girl with barely anything on, drying humping every guy that walks past. Well I got a close up that I’ll never forget. My choice of poison was water so I have no excuse. The thing about all your friends being drunk and you sober, is that they seem to be having so much more fun than you. So I decided to give the dance floor a break and get a refill instead.
Random hot guy: What you drinking?
Me: *looks at the bottle of water in my hand* Guess…
Random hot guy: Would you like something harder
At that exact moment the fat girl with barely anything on, decide to demonstrate something out of a thriller music video exposing any covered bit she might have had.
Me: Check out the whale
Random hot guy: Ummmmm
Me: *laughing uncontrollably*
Random hot guy: That’s my sister
Me: Ohhh FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Random guy: Hang on I’ll introduce you
At that point I was wishing for the ground to open up and swallow me! I had now turned so red I looked like a stop sign. After being introduced to fat girl I felt obliged to give her a ridiculous amount of compliments, at which she must of thought I was hitting on her. The next 10 minutes involved us standing there in silence, I felt as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.
Random guy: So you like my sister?
Me: Umm she’s great!
Random guy: So how about that drink?
After I called his sister a whale he still proceeded to hit on me for the rest of the night and all I wanted to do was get the hell outta there and crawl into a hole.
In other odd events:
I keep getting pictures of farm animals from some guy I met recently.
I’m beginning to develop zoophobia. You know who you are. Please stop!
Hahaha. Always hilarious.
ReplyDeleteMaybe random hot guy wanted to hook you up with his fat sister, as lunch possibly?